We all need to be mindful of our tendency to respond to people based on looks, and to strive to value everyone equally, whether they’re sparkling and beautiful, or unlovely and odd.
But when it comes to picking a husband or wife, I don’t believe we should feel guilty for wanting to be attracted to them. Of course, sexual attraction (which isn’t the same as good looks – I’ve been wildly attracted to some positively plain men in my time) isn’t everything.
(Longtime readers of my blog can probably tell you Candice Watters’ opinion on the topic, and my opinion of Candice Watters’ opinion on the topic.) Basically, the reader says she forwarded the infamous “Brother, You’re Like a Six” Boundless article to a single male friend whom she felt needed the ~advice, and he wrote her back a lengthy reply that basically reads like typical manospherian reasoning on the subjects of looks, chemistry, and attraction.
Since this reply from the horse’s mouth wasn’t good enough for Reader, who believes men are “swayed heavily by…our culture” and “secular standards about who to pursue,” she went to Candice to get the answer she wanted to hear.
Also, there are physical traits that you look for in a spouse in hopes of passing down to your children.
We are to use Scripture as the measure of our desires.’ I’m surprised how many people – both women and men – write to me because they’re worried that they ‘ought’ to date someone they’re not attracted to, and to insist on attraction would be superficial and un Godly.Certainly, the Bible tells us that God looks not at outward appearances, but at the heart.Candice wrote a reply that encapsulates the aspects the I find most infuriating about Christian dating advice: namely, that physical attraction is this sort of either/or thing that you can only count on for a couple of years, and then you plummet directly into companionate love for the rest of your life, never to feel any heat again, but that’s okay because your companionate love is so rich and deep that you’ll never miss being hot for each other except those six times you have sex per year.Okay, that’s my paraphrase, but what other conclusion can one draw from a reply that begins thusly: If only it were that simple! Every marriage moves beyond the new-love, high-octane phase eventually, according to Psychologist Dorothy Tennov.I can’t remember if I’ve discussed this article from Marry Well before, but even if I have, it’s worth a revisit.