Every relationship has what “How I Met Your Mother” has dubbed a settler and a reacher.In other words, one person in the relationship settles for the other, who is involved in a relationship with someone out of his or her league, the settler.I have friends who strongly believe in this idea, and that you should strive for the position of power – be the settler instead of the reacher. I believe love isn’t a competition and you love someone not to prove anything to anyone, but because you love them.Be the more achieved, more interesting, more everything partner. Otherwise, I believe we should choose the love we truly want, regardless of how it looks from the outside, regardless of what people say or will say.Within a successful, seemingly stable relationship, the settler refers to the "better half", who in essence settles with their partner.
Maybe your partner brings more emotional durability to the table.
At the end of the day, and as idealistic as it may sound, love should be unconditional.
It shouldn’t only be given when you’ve done a certain number of things to earn it; it shouldn’t be hard work, much less hard work.
“Whoa, she could do better.” How often have you walked past a couple and thought that? Often, in relationships, you’ll find one person has reached (the “reacher”), while the other has settled (the “settler”). For a long time, Victoria’s Secret Angel Adriana Lima was married to this guy: And remember how upset the Internet got when rumors started circulating that Chris Evans – Captain America himself – was dating this girl? Does this mean every couple is doomed to be composed of a reacher and a settler?
We judge people from the way they dress, the way they act and, of course, the person they’re dating. Most of us think of the reacher and the settler in terms of looks and physical appearance, but delve deeper and you’ll realize that this idea can be applied to virtually any other facet of an individual: character, wealth, achievements, etc.